Don’t Alienate My Holiday!

Don’t Alienate My Holiday!

Well now that Halloween is officially over and the onslaught of Christmas is upon us – wait isn’t there a holiday in between? Oh you mean Black Friday?

Thanksgiving is getting the holiday shaft these days with commercialism having a force choke hold on the holiday circuit with the lunacy of radio stations streaming non-stop holiday crap that are like a musical black hole to the Christmas classics we all know and love ( that will be another post in the coming days) and stores are already pushing trophy trees and seizure inducing lights.

Thanksgiving is more than just food coma and football games so here’s an arsenal of a media stuffing to keep your line up of holidays in check.

A Very Brady Thanksgiving

This is as wholesome as it gets with the hokiest of translations of the “first Thanksgiving” with a laugh track I’m sure all of our ancestors wouldn’t think was too funny — with motion speeds for effect!


Thanksgiving Blockhead!

This is as wholesome as it gets with the hokiest of translations of the “first Thanksgiving” with a laugh track I’m sure all of our ancestors wouldn’t think was too funny — with motion speeds for effect!

Not as famous as “It’s The Great Pumpkin,” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” this Schultz outing for the Peanuts gang is extremely slow and talky topped with a lesson on being thankful and popcorn as a garnish. If you can look past Peppermint Patty’s way off voice…


Ancient Turkey Aliens

No one can deny the continuous genius that is Trey Parker and Matt Stone. For over 20 years now they have kept society in check with their message of sanity in a world gone insane. What I love most is that no one is off limits and safe in the town of SouthPark and Thanksgiving has received several helpings of satire from the creators. Earlier in the show’s run, Thanksgiving was targeted with turkey’s run amok Mel Gibson Braveheart style, Gobble’s, Timmy’s “challenged” Turkey and recently, Ancient Aliens gets the target as the episode explains that there is more to Thanksgiving than what America has been told and sold. Ancient Astro Turkey Theorists believe…


The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

The parade is a tradition and more so on movies that typically show older, groggy folks asleep and snoring in recliners as the balloons parade along with a vintage song playing over the montage but The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade definitely has quirks of its own from overly bad dubbing of musical performances which to me is gut-splitting hilarious, over compensating commentators and the occasional out-of-control balloon.

BAD LIP SYNCH BONUS!


Mashed Potatoes Yeahhhh!

Every Turkey Day meal requires the mashed spuds so why not eat them to an early James Brown tune that will take the funk out of awkward family silences at the table. Easily, this song could have been a montage track for an 80s John Candy holiday film.


What the hell?

Just stop. The thoughts of Giblet gravy over this meshed goo makes me want to run to a Golden Corral – the lesser of two evils. Just say the name as spelled forgetting that the word “tofu” is in the mix.

tofurky


Indigestion

And to top off the list, here’s a big helping of the worst of humanity on Black Friday. Zombie’s act better than this. Don’t give into the hype – stay home and enjoy Thanksgiving with your friends, family or what have you.

 

Gobbles!

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